It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
I want her autograph on my taint
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Randomize
