I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
We are all done wearing pants today
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
