It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Randomize
