we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
I would fuck him just for his dog
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
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