my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Randomize
