And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
