my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Randomize
