He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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