He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
We are two peas in an std pod
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Randomize
