I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Randomize
