Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
Someone came in the potted fern
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
