Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
