i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
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