Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
