So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
