She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
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