After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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