If i come over, it means nothing
After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize
