She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
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