nut hugger
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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