i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
