rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
Randomize
