I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
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