Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Randomize
