I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Damn victory sex feels great
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize