Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
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