oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
