i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize