i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Randomize
