Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Randomize
