She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
