Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Randomize