took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
