is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Randomize
