yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
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