So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Randomize
