I wish I only lived at night.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
honey bunches of taint.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
No subtext here. People are naked.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Randomize
