so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
