I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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