so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
