you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
