Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
Randomize
