I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Randomize
