Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
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You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
