you told grandpa to call you daddy
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Randomize
