I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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