i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize