their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
The air was thick with penises
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Randomize
