he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
it was like eating out sand paper
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
