Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
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