My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
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