you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Randomize
