Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
