Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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