Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
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