you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
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