Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Randomize
