maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
You were trust falling into bushes
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
