Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize
