I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
