Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
