he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize